"But that's not the way it's supposed to be!" is a common thing we say when our expectations fall short. It happens to all of us. Some members of MySpondylitisTeam have found the practice of "allowing and letting be" in the midst of a trying to be a way to minimize anxiety or heaviness.

Mindfulness experts suggest a few ways that we can notice -- not push away -- how we feel during difficult moments. There are physical responses we can notice (heaviness in the shoulders, tightness in the chest), and we should also take note of our emotional responses to disappointment (blame, self-doubt, exasperation). These can be opportunities to realign our expectations and extend grace to ourselves.

Here are recent conversations from MySpondylitisTeam:

• "I have been so happy since I learned how to manage my pain and inflammation. Is every day a good day? No, but I have some control and I can adjust and feel better. Happiness isn’t a destination, it’s the way I make my journey."
• "Thanks to all for your kind words! Today it seems my inflammation has reduced some. I drank so many cups of turmeric tea yesterday, I don't know if that is what helped, but it can't hurt for sure. Thank you all again for the virtual hugs and care."
• "Hi everyone after a lovely day out at Batman's the house and gardens of Rudyard Kipling where he lived with his wife and children. Such a relaxing beautiful day. That was yesterday. I have been doing some work around the house I haven't been too bad but my neck and back are now hurting but not anything I can't cope with. I hope you all have had a good day but if not take care and let's see if tomorrow is kinder to you."

Share how you respond when things fall short of your expectations in the comments below or directly on MySpondylitisTeam.com.