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A MySpondylitisTeam Member asked a question 💭
Mendota, IL

I got divorced about a yr after my diagnosis. And up until my diagnosis my partner always brushed off my pain or would say i was using it as an excuse to not do anything. Granted I've work 60 hr weeks for the past ten yrs. But once diagnosed my relationship went to poop fast

December 11, 2022
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Answer Summary

Members opened up about how ankylosing spondylitis profoundly affected their relationships, with experiences ranging from divorces and... Read more

Members opened up about how ankylosing spondylitis profoundly affected their relationships, with experiences ranging from divorces and emotionally abusive partners who dismissed their pain as laziness or excuses, to deeply supportive spouses who became true partners in managing chronic illness together. Several members shared painful stories of ex-partners who grew angry over fatigue, had affairs, or even attempted harm once physical capabilities declined, while others described how shared understanding of chronic conditions like MS or mutual respect for invisible illness strengthened their marriages over decades. A recurring theme was the hard-won realization that a truly supportive partner will show curiosity and care about ongoing symptoms rather than resentment, and that leaving an unsupportive relationship often means choosing self-respect and peace over constant degradation.

A MySpondylitisTeam Member

No my relationship with my husband has grown stronger he understands and doesn’t understand how I could of carried three of our children with my bad spine. And now our daughters have my bad spine in a more milder form bless their hearts

December 20, 2022
A MySpondylitisTeam Member

My now ex hubby of 27 years tried to kill me so he could collect life insurance and get what he called a “better quality woman, who could help him in with heavy work” I had spent my early married years doing heavy physical work helping him for six hours a day, seven days a week, plus I worked a full time clerical job and started a Notary Public business. As soon as my physical condition started to deteriorate, he started having affairs and telling me how useless and worthless I was.
Even though I continued my Notary business and paid all the bills. I kept my looks and manner of dressing top notch so he wouldn’t be embarrassed but in the end, it was over.

December 17, 2022
A MySpondylitisTeam Member

I'm so blessed my husband of 52 years has been there for me, he's a warrior, he does get frustrated with my doctor's for not diagnosising me properly. I researched my MRI to understand it.

December 14, 2022
A MySpondylitisTeam Member

Gawd....I had the same issue from an ex...he would say things like "It's so bloody annoying how tired you are all the time!" ...he would get so angry. Granted, at the time, I didn't know of my disease but he was not supportive or concerned that I had chronic fatigue in any case - he never said, "...we should look into this" or "maybe there is something deeper or bigger going on".....geeezsch. Makes all sense now!!!! Lesson learned here is that if I hear someone start talking to me that way or not showing support, I am with the WRONG person.

December 12, 2022
A MySpondylitisTeam Member

Made mine stronger hey I gave birth to three of his children so I’m thankful

December 29, 2022

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