@A MySpondylitisTeam Member. No need to apologize Scooter. It's all good. The universe and all life in it never revolves around one person. I know that and one day your kids will too. Don't be so hard on yourself. All anyone can do is the best that they can based on what they have learned over the years and what they have accumulated up to any given point. If it is not enough for someone else, children, parents, spouses etc etc to total strangers, the problem is with the ones who have the unrealistic expectations, not the one who didn't quite measure up to those expectations. The fastest route to disappointment is to have expectations. They'll figure that out. As long as you know you did your best and continue to do so, that is all that matters. I just hope for your children's sakes that they don't realize this truth when it is too late. That is the saddest situation of all. I'm so sorry for your heartache my friend. Try to focus on things that bring you peace. Lamenting over that which you cannot change will exacerbate your stress. And we all know what stress does to a body already in pain. Yours in better health P ☺️ 🙏

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A MySpond...

When i have had a complicated relationship, i found writing a letter from my heart, explaining myself as i lived whatever the situation or event was, not as a poor victim, but more as the regrets i felt over things not going differently, what i hoped for, what i was sad to lose, but the reality of my life as it was, is. Then I would share what i hoped could still be despite the challenges. After you spill your heart and soul on paper it can never be changed, there is strength and dignity in that. Then you will always know that despite not having done so perfectly in the past, you have done all you can to the best of your ability in the present. You will have asked for understanding and forgiveness. Doing the very best you can do puts the ball in their court. If my dad wrote me such a letter i would cherish it forever, frame it, take it to my grave someday. But the first day after reading a heartfelt honest letter from my dad, the first thing i would do is go straight home to him and hold him tight, kiss him light, and massage his feet like i did when i was a little girl. I hope this gives you an idea. All is never lost while we still breathe. Yours in better health P 😌🙏

I agree with Wren. My parents listened to me without interrupting or turning my issue with them into an excuse, or turning the problem into one of m making. They listened, accepted, and apologized. It made all the difference in the world and easy for me to forgive them. True deep love for another is understanding, accepting, and supporting even when you fundamentally disagree. Keep your fundamentals to yourself and love will flourish. 💞

I’m sorry for taking such a long time to reply. I am terrible at following up at these type of things and I hope you can understand and forgive me.

You sound like a reasonable person, one that would listen to reason and would love your dad regardless of what he did. My children are a bit different. The younger four follow the oldest and it was the oldest daughter I had most of the problems with.

I have written so many letters and not sent them that I can’t remember for sure if I may have sent one. If I did send one, I’ve nothing from it. I sent my 2nd daughter a B-Day card via text and I received a scathing txt back that caused more pain and agony basically saying I must not understand what no communication means and how bad of a father I must have been.

Anyway, life goes on and all I can do now is pray something will change.

Thank you so much for caring enough to respond. I really do appreciate it.