My ex husband was like that, after 13 years married he complained my illness caused lack of intamacy, not true was just an excuse he used for sympathy. After he left I refound intamacy and best thing that ever happened, he did me a favour as I found what had been lacking. Try to talk to your partner, explain what's possible and what isn't, if they refuse to engage with you then the issue is definitely there's. I hope you can work it out, a life without compassion and passion can be a lonely life good luck

This is so sad Brian, what are a few scars? Surely everyone has a few scars especially as you get older. I remember seeing this somewhere that said "Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds" and I think that is so true, intimacy with the person you love is so important, it doesn't have to be intercourse just closeness and cuddling and friendship. Without those things you might as well just share a house with a lodger. When someone first has a big operation and is really unwell then your relationship changes for a while, you nurse them and sexual contact takes a back seat but when they are well enough your previous relationship should slowly begin again. I suppose it would be easy to get stuck in the role of carer and not get any closeness between you again but scars are the worst excuse I have ever heard, sorry if I upset you but your wife is really being unfair to you, my husband has scars from his bowel cancer operation, huge scars right down his tummy and a colostomy bag I have spondylitis and back pain with it and often pain in other places but it's not stopped us from being intimate and loving with each other. I am saddened by the number of people on here who as well as their pain no longer have that loving contact with their partners, it's just something else that they are suffering with.

Omg leave u deserve better

No, You Are Not Alone. I'm experiencing the same thing. And try to rationalize though he has been reassured many times. He's not going to hurt me. But I feel that is his main concern

I wish the government would make safe, affordable housing for those with disabilities. My daughter lives in a bad area and an apartment building that is barely above kennel conditions in my opinion. It’s so frustrating. It feels like they penalize those who are the weakest and put them at greater risk. She has more disabilities than I do. Before anyone asks: she lives out of state and we no longer have the financial means to help her.